Unexpected

So... I got my AS results today...
and... i still cant believe it... i got straight A~!!! but seriously, i still cant believe it. I keep wanting to go back to CIE's website to check my results again to see whether i saw it wrongly or something. but i gave my mum my password and all and she helped me check again too, and she told me i didnt see wrongly. LOL

just so you know, i never ever expected to get 3A. NEVER. I have never imagined myself as a straight A student. And i know people see you differently when they know about your results, even i see myself differently right after i knew my results. like, am i really capable of getting 3A? did i really work hard?
I really thought i didnt work hard enough for AS... like for example, i still had time for Beast and all those kpop stuff. and i was really expecting only to get 3B.
and I wasnt nervous at all! I wasnt nervous even when i was checking my results at 2pm just now. I dunno why but i just had no reason to be nervous, i guess. but i've never been nervous when it comes to getting results. i've always been like that.
and the weird thing was, last night/early this morning, i had a dream of Yoseob and my results.
I told Hy in the morning that i dreamt about Yoseob and getting my results but i didnt get to see my grades in my dream. but what i didnt mention to her in the morning was that an image flashed into my mind before i woke up. I'm not sure whether i was still dreaming or when i was half-awake but an image of me getting straight A flashed in my mind but i chose to ignore it because i knew it was nonsense. And i didnt mention it to Hy because i knew it didnt mean anything but also, i didnt want to jinx it or anything like that.
and who knew? i really got straight A! and when i told Hy about it this afternoon, she mentioned my creepy six sense thing. LOL i would never had thought it was my six sense until she mentioned it.

We all thought our results were going be released at 6am, so we all checked in the morning but nothing was released.
our maths class ended around 1.50pm and a few of us stayed in the classroom and waited for 2pm so we could check our results. We even countdown-ed each minute, it wasnt nerve wrecking at all (for me hehe).
when the clock on my phone turned 14:00, i refreshed my page and went O___O.
and squealed a bit when i saw my results and i couldnt stand sitting so i walked around the room. LOL
i called my mum right after that. and i forgot to tell her that i was getting my results today. hahaha
when i asked her to guess my results, she said, "since you're calling me then it must be all A?"
hahaha fyi, i never call my mum. i rarely call her. yeah, i'm a bad daughter but that's how my relationship with my mum is. I rather text or email or Skype.
I felt really happy when i told my mum about it. because it's the first time in my whole life getting such results. My mum must have been really shocked by it too.

Then when i was back in my room, i called my uncle. I didnt plan to call him at first, but in the end, i guessed he deserved a phone call rather than an email.
So i called, and i dont think i even rmb the last time i called him, he must've been shocked by the phone call.
but when i told him about my results, he said, "VERY GOOD, GIRL. VERY GOOD."
and i was smiling so wide. i literally could hear him smile at the other end of the line too. :)
it only struck me ytd night that i seemed to have disappointed my uncle more than i have disappointed my mum throughout my life because my uncle always expects a lot from me while my mum doesnt really have any expectations from me.
from UPSR, to PMR and SPM, everytime i go home to tell my uncle my results, he just never seemed happy. he smiles and tells me that i've done well but there's always that tad bit of disappointment. The feeling of never being good enough is one of the worst feelings ever. and needing to feel that throughout my life as a student was really hard. until now i'm always thinking that no matter how hard i study, it will never be enough, that i can always work harder, do better.
This time around, finally, i feel like it's the first time ever in my life, i've really made my uncle feel proud or even, truly happy. all he wanted for me in my life was to get a good education and get into a good uni. You cannot imagine how much he wants that for me. all my life, that's the only thing he's been pressuring me on.
making him happy with good results is so much more meaningful than making my mum happy. because that's all he has expected from me. he never expected anything else.
he brought me up well. and i'm just so grateful. growing up, i noticed i learnt more stuff from him than i have from my mum. my personality is more like him compared to my mum, he influenced me a lot. i guess throughout my whole life, the amount of time i spent with my uncle is way more than the time i spent with my mum.
my uncle has always been there for me. more than my mum has been. since kindergarten till form 5. he'll always be there before i leave for school and when i come back from school. although he's strict and hot-tempered sometimes but all those lectures were all for my own good i guess.
I'm the disciplined person i am today because of him. i have so much to thank him for.
and a lot of times, i take those stuff for granted. but that's what humans always do right? take things for granted.
i'm just really happy that i could make my uncle and my mum happy. Their happiness is so much more important than my own.
okay... this just turned into an appreciation post. LOL


that's all i guess. tmr i will finally going to see a dermatologist to get my skin better. i'll leave that story for my next post. and on Thursday, i will be meeting up with Minyan and Olivia~ i dont know whether i'll be in the mood for shopping but i'm definitely happy to be able to spend some time with them~

Some overdue photos~

Time to upload some way-too-overdued photos~~~ Have not been in the mood to blog lately. I dont have time either. but i dont like to keep these precious photos in my files and not upload them! There's quite a lot...So here they are~

 my 2NE1 lightstick! TT___TT i promised myself to only spend on Beast this year... and maybe BTOB because i'm starting to really like them.  JUNG ILHOON~~~ i think i may make a blogpost for BTOB hehe

this was before i left for LCCT last year to go back to JB. I miss my long hair.... :(

in my room~ this was before going for Sara's bday lunch!

Running Friends~ hehe this was on new year's eve! We played games at Jusco~ a group photo before the games started! I'm lazy to elaborate much on that day... too much stuff to blog about.

All in all, i had a really fun time with them~ 

our group loss one of the games and the punishment was 十连拍 LOL

and my group was the winner that day~ We didnt really play fair, so... heehee but we still won!

 after the games and punishment, GROUP PHOTO~

 after dinner, we went to Karyap's house to chill~ 

this pair of twins. LOL

 forever sleeping, Jiajun. kekeke he's sleeping so peacefully LOL

 this crazy couple. please never change. :)

 pretty polaroids of Hy's~ 

the girls~ :)

here are some photos taken while playing the first game at Jusco where we had to take photos with each other. although i wasnt suppose to because my role in the game was suppose to hide but Daniel told me to just take photos. so i did. hehe

 with Tzeyit. his face so small.

 and Daniel. his face so small too. :(

 and Kak Leong.

the rest are taken when at Karyap's house after countdown! so these were the first few photos of 2013!

all with the girls~

 with the very fair Ruohyee~ i really miss my curls..... :(

 with the sweet Amy~ she didnt changed a bit. but tbh, no one changed much. we are still the same~ :)

 with the ever so kind, Kenhui~

 and lastly with the bestie Hy~ and the creeper Yoongkang. lmao

with Jiawen~ she looks so good with her pixie cut~ her hair colour suits her too.

i still miss my curls... 

 went home at 1 something and slept at 3 something because of Beast. 

 the day before i left for Subang again. i watched Beautiful Show in Yokohama~ i dl-ed this 8GB file a few months ago and finally got the chance to watch it on my TV!

beautiful Doojoon with his jawline~ >___<

how i wish Yoseob could sing to me like this.

 i hate my short hair, it's not straight (it's straight in the photo because it was blow dried by the auntie), and it's not wavy, it's just really messy. I want my curls back!!!

after i packed my luggage that night, i rearranged my albums~ at the rate i'm buying stuff, i will need more space soon. I hope my Beautiful Show DVD will reach home before i do for CNY!

that's all the photos for now~ 

A Letter To Yoseob~ ♥

First post of 2013! Happy New Year~
I always blog on Beast's members' birthdays and i kinda ran out of ideas on what to blog this year... I'm not really good with words and i feel like i keep blogging about almost the same thing. so this year, i thought that on each member's birthday, i'll write a letter to them! although the things i say would still be almost the same as before but it feels different.
I'm always jealous of those korean fans who gets chances to talk to Beast when they go to their events or fansigns or when they write letters to Beast and gives it to them when they see them.
and the members always mention how much energy the fans give them through their letters.
so i wondered, if i get the chance to write/talk to Beast, what would i say? so here it goes~


Dear Yoseobie,

Yoseobah, are you trying to steal me away from Dongwoon? kekeke I'm so frustrated everyday, you know? It's so hard to stay loyal to Dongwoon when your photos are flooding my twitter and tumblr! and they are all soooo good looking~ you are one photogenic boy, Yoseob! and a fashionable one too~ I love your style so much - simple with swag. I love it when you wear your hoodie with your leather jacket and your snapback. Your snapback always makes me swoon~ And when you wear dress shirts! ahhh~ my favourite! Please ask your coordi noona to not button you up all the way to the collar, you look so much more handsome without your collar buttoned!  And also because of your charms, you have so many fans and so many fansites to take photos of you~ Dongwoon only has a few fansites, so i get so little photos of him TT____TT And with this round of solo promotions, you're gaining more and more fans everyday! btw, i'm so proud of you Yangyo~ 5 trophies won during your promotion period! Good job~ I was so happy when you announced you were releasing a solo album. I believe it's something many B2utys have been waiting for. and as you're my favourite voice, i couldnt be any happier!

Your voice is magical. Everytime i hear it, i'm mesmerized by it. No matter how many time i replay your voice, it still surprises me. and until today, your voice is still my lullaby, so soothing to the ear. I love your voice so so much and i hate myself because i'm so bad with words, i dunno how to express how much i love it. Your voice is just so special and unique, so easy to recognize. And i always reckon that you can make any song sound good. But you always worry fans when your throat is in a bad condition. I know that's normal for vocalists and it just shows how hard you've worked, but still... i want you to be able to sing beautifully forever. Your soulful voice touches me everytime you sing a ballad and when you sing happy songs, a smile will always appear on my face. and just so you know, it's very awkward to have a stupid grin on my face in public, you know? hehehe

enough on your voice... time to praise your looks~ You forever being your modest self keep saying that you're number 6 in visuals in Beast and everytime a fan tells you you're the most handsome, you ask them not to lie... Have you looked in the mirror recently, mister? You're kidnapping my heart away from Son Nam Shin! I squeal and go crazy everytime i see an extremely cute photo of you and you can be very very handsome and full of swag when you want to. Those eyes of yours... you always show your true feelings through your eyes. You're so honest with your feelings that you never hide them. and fans know when you're not in a good mood or not feeling well because it's written all over your face. But when you're happy and having fun, your positive energy and smile are infectious~ You bring happiness to everyone around you. How can anyone not love you? and my OTP, your Dooseob and Junseob moments are my fav~!!! you're just soo cute around these two~

And how can i forget... you have the most fans because you are the fanservice king! Forever showing your love and care for us fans. Forever thanking us for everything when you should be thanking yourself for working so hard. and when fans thank you for singing, you thank them for listening~ awww~ I just love you so much~~~  How are you so precious??? and my heartaches everytime i rmb the time you said you can live without love (relationship)... I cant bear the sight of you being alone forever Yoseobah... I wish i would be able to see you have a girlfriend before i die. XD I always thought that you would be the best boyfriend out Beast members.

Yoseobah, stay healthy and take care of yourself well. Continue to be the happy virus for Beast when you guys are going through a hard time. and dont be so hard on yourself... i know it's good to give yourself a little pressure and to always push the limits but i'm really worried that one day, you wont be able to take it anymore. Happy Birthday, Yoseob~ Please, never change and never lose that amazing spirit of yours. Know that B2utys will always be there to support you.

 05.01.2013 Yang Yoseob's 23rd birthday! 

ikr, how is he 23 years old when he looks 5. LOL our baby oppa~

 this is the smile. :) never lose it.

 i love it when he makes his eyelids look like that hehehe i like double eyelids~ 

 just look at the way he looks at he the fan. jealous ttm. 

and just look at his simple style - hoodie, varsity jacket, snapback. perfect.

 this shirt of his is one of my fav~ the colours match him well. i love that he keeps wearing it~

i dunno why i love this photo so much.

i want to pinch his cheeks~~

 one of my favourite quotes of Yangyo's. ♥

You are more than beautiful, Yang Yoseob. ♥

 *squeals* *faints*

Yoseobah why you look at the camera like that?! tyring to kill me isit?

his boyish self. snapbacks are made for Yang Yoseob.

 now you guys understand? doesnt he look sooo good in a dress shirt with the first two buttons unbuttoned?!

and with sleeves folded~ *swoons* i wish i had more photos to post of him in this shirt but they are all in my hard disk....

 fanservice king. if you're not a b2uty, you may not know this, but this is very common, Yoseob lets everyone high-five/interwined fingers with him. I WANTTT~

and look at his hair~ looks so smooth... he even let a fan touch his hair/ pat his head.... ;A;

this is a photo from today, like i mentioned above - leather jacket, hoodie and snapback. 

this guy knows his style and knows what suits him. i wonder what he'll wear once it's spring~

LOL and his huge hands~ 

 Dooseob being touchy~ their matching expressions are so adorable!

 the way the two of them looks at each other~ soo sweet!  what does it take to let me be either one of them? XD

Junseob special Caffeine stage! both in purple~  

i just have to mention Junhyung's jawline and neck. >___<

 this post wont be complete without GIFs because Yoseob has the best gifs.

even a fanboy, he pats. the fanservice king award goes to you Yoseob. (actually, the fanboy asked him to pat his head, and he did. !@#$%^&*) 

 *squeal* i love this couple >__<

 my favourite. because he has those double eyelids again~!!! i cant stop staring. i need help.

 kekeke

 precious baby oppa~ he looks genuinely happy. that infectious smile of his~ :)

and these photos were taken by Doojoon and made in a gif! dooseob love~

how much sweeter can they get~

I know this is a very long post and maybe some of you gave up reading it and went straight to the photos...

but that letter basically sums up all my affections for Yoseob. i couldnt mention everything i wanted to say, or else it'll be too long but all that i wrote, came from my heart. 

this precious boy truly makes me happy. and i wished i could do more to make him happy, to give back to him. i really hope you guys read through the whole post. :)

good night~