I went through those hopes of getting a job before my trip to Italy but then nothing worked out. Following that, I had a great week in Italy; exploring a bit more of the world and experiencing new things. Then only to come back to London with nothing to do. So I had to find a job which I did within two weeks and only to lose that job in the next two weeks. Then again, after two weeks of feeling a bit down and hopeless, I found a job again! So.... in this post, I guess I just want to share some of the emotions I went through and how everything actually happened.
When I posted my last very wordy post, I just got the job at KIN. I didn't even get the chance to blog about how the job was when I still had it. Overall, it was a nice job although it can be quite stressful at times but I guess I just wasn't good enough. My boss was a pleasant person but he just loves nagging. A LOT. I am used to being nagged at so I was okay with it but it was seriously annoying. And he loves to ask, "What are you doing?" when we're busy when he obviously can see with his own eyes what we are doing and then we (the other waiters and waitresses were annoyed with him too) will have to waste our time explaining to him what we're doing. Then he'll say, "Stop talking, just listen." When that first happened to me, I was like, BUT YOU ASKED ME A QUESTION!
Then there was his wife. Ughhhh she was annoying. I know people aren't supposed to talk bad about their superiors on social media and stuff but she's not my boss anymore so this doesn't count right? Anyway, she had the worst mood swings ever. She has problems. One minute she'll be nice, then she disappears into the office and comes back going, "Oh, for fuck's sake" at almost everything. There was once where I accidentally stepped on her toe. Actually, I didn't even step on her toe, I only stepped on her sandal, and I sincerely apologised and she side-eyed me and went "Tsk!". In my head, I was like, "oh my gosh, you are such a bitch." Then, there was one dinner shift where she was in a good mood and was laughing and joking around with the other waitresses and then suddenly she disappeared and came back all bitchy again. I was genuinely scared of her. She was like a time bomb that was going to explode any minute.
Everything else about job weren't too bad. The other staff were nice but we didn't really get along. Always when we had lunch together, they would talk by themselves and I would just sit and listen. I just never knew what to say. I knew nothing about the stuff they were talking about. The actual waitressing got a bit stressful when the restaurant got really busy. I made a few mistakes but they weren't big mistakes but my boss always made me feel like I committed a crime or something. My training was mostly done on the job so since the restaurant was always so busy, I had to learn really fast. And for some stuff, like making Vietnamese coffee, I didn't even get to learn because no one had the time to teach me. I actually liked it when it's busy. Everyone liked it when it's busy because if it's not, we'd have nothing to do.
But yeah... I guess I wasn't good enough to meet their standards. During my first week there, they kept telling me to be faster. In the second week, they didn't complain about me anymore and I thought I was getting better at the job, which I was. I was starting to getting a hand of everything. On my last shift (Friday), after we were done with work and after we had our lunch, my boss came by and told me that he needed to pay me before I leave (they always pay staff on Fridays unless they're permanent staff) and at that time, he hasn't told me that he wasn't going to continue hiring me. Then he paid me and asked me what I was going to do over the weekend and I said, "Nothing much. But I heard it's going to rain over the weekend, so I might just stay indoors." So he just replied and told me to enjoy the good weather when I can, "Summer's going to end really quick." Then he just told me to have a good weekend and I left the restaurant. Yup. That's it. He didn't mention anything about me not needing to go into work anymore the next week! Do you want to know when they decided to let me know about the bad news? Well, they actually FORGOT to tell me about it! Can you believe that?! I was so annoyed!
So.... My boss' wife normally lets me know about my work rota on Sundays and all of Sunday, I was waiting to get her text but I never received it. I just thought she forgot and decided to remind her at 10pm Sunday night but she didn't reply me. The next morning, I woke up early just to check my phone and she still hadn't replied me. I sent her another text and still no reply. I called her at 10am. Didn't pick up. I called at 10.30am, and she hung up on me. I thought, Well, at least I know she saw that I called. In the next 5 minutes, I received her text letting me know about the bad news. In the text, she mentioned something like, I'm sorry I missed your call. My husband was supposed to catch up with you on Friday. He decided to end your trial at KIN. You are a very nice person but he thought you didn't fit the role.
I guess you could imagine how I felt when I received that text. I was all dressed up and had my make up on just in case I needed to go to work.... So I decided not to feel bad about myself and go out. I already had plans on going out before I received the text because I didn't want to stay indoors since I already did my make up. I ended up going to Notting Hill/Kensington/Portobello Market. I knew I wasn't going to be able to deal with it if I stayed in my room all day so it was nice to go out and breathe some fresh air and see some beautiful places. The next day, I started looking for jobs again. I didn't have any luck that first week but in the following week, I went to 3 interviews and in that last one, I got the job! One of the other interviews was for an Italian restaurant and the other was for LEON. And there's a looooong story behind that LEON's interview which I'm not going to get into rn but all I'm going to say is they call it an "Audition Day" and it lasted more than an hour. Very looong story.
So.... Yes, I am working at a Thai Restaurant called Kinkao on Brick Lane right now! It's near to where I stay and I can walk to work! I really enjoy working there. I do not enjoy being on my feet for more 5+ hours straight though but the other aspects of the job are enjoyable. The lady boss is nice, she doesn't smile a lot and doesn't speak a lot but she's nice. She's Thai and all the cooks are Thai and another waitress is Thai and not everyone's English is good but it's nice. And I love it when everything and everyone is nice. There's only two other waitresses working dinner shifts, so one is Thai and the other is Vietnamese, who is the girl who trained me, and we get along well. Other than them, there's an Italian bartender as well and he's... nice but he talks too much. I'm getting along with everyone and I just feel very welcomed into their small team. Unlike how it was at KIN. I didn't feel welcome at all, I always had a feeling they didn't want me there. Well, Kinkao's atmosphere is nice, they cook authentic Thai food and if you're ever in London, visit Brick Lane and check it out~ It's best to go to Brick Lane on Sundays btw but at night, there are these very annoying people who are very pushy in getting you to eat at their restaurants. Don't say I didn't warn you. And I am always scared of walking around there alone when I get off work late at night but I try to be extra careful and I always take the bus or the Overground at night instead of walking. Anyway, I hope I won't need to look for another job anytime soon.....
You know, the worst part of losing that job (well, technically, I didn't even get the job, I was just on trial) was needing to let everyone else know about the bad news. My mum, my uncle, my aunt (ughhh) and Auntie Veronica, who worried so much about me. Sighhh I felt like the news worried them more than it worried me. I got over it really quick but my uncle was emailing me every 3 or 4 days asking me whether I had luck with jobs. And Auntie Veronica called me saying sorry and feeling bad for me and ughhhh I didn't need any of those negative energy around me. I really appreciated it that everyone cares for me so much but ugh i hate when I make people feel bad, and worse, feeling bad for me! I did feel bad for myself... There was one night (before i got the job at Kinkao), I just suddenly felt really sad that I still couldn't find a job and I crawled into bed, hid under my duvet and cried it all out. Please don't feel bad for me, that's the way I get over things. I cry all the negative energy out of me and I feel better after that. Well, I actually fell asleep after that and woke at 4am to turn off the lights and my laptop. And actually, I didn't tell my mum, uncle, aunt and Auntie Veronica the truth, I just told them that my boss didn't make me a permanent staff because they had another waitress going back to work for them so they didn't need me, which is actually true but not what really happened. Does this make any sense?
Well, that's all for now. Let's see what more my life decides to throw at me next time.
But after going through all of these, I matured a lot again. Learnt a bunch of new stuff and how to cope with all of it. I'm still scared of a lot of stuff but a lot less than before and that's a huge improvement for me.
"The train tracks through the Alps before there was a train. Signore Martini wants me to have faith, something I've never been good at and now I'm even worse at since last year. Not that I don't want faith. I'm just jealous of the believers."
- Under The Tuscan Sun
"Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving. People get stronger and more resilient."
- Dr. Steve Maraboli
