Looking Back at 2012

i dont really know why i'm writing this blogpost....
I was blogging the last post and my mind just wandered into memories from 2012...
so much has happened, so much has changed and there's still so much more to come. 2012 really went by too quickly. I really dont think i've had the time to appreciate it.
 thinking back, January really seems so far away. When I moved out of the house and started college.
And i actually got through all the stupid exams and endured college life until now.
Moving out was a huge change i guess. At first, before really moving to Subang, i didnt think much about it, never thought i would miss home. but like the saying goes, "You never know how important something is until you lose it." Surely, i didnt lose anything but staying away from home wasnt easy. I ended up missing home and family and friends a lot. And now thinking about it, i wont have much time to spend at home anymore.
that thought scares me all the time. I'm still not sure of how my life in 2013 will be like, i'm sure it'll be hectic and tiring. and more changes to come. I'm truly scared.

What else happened in 2012? hmmm.... after CNY, I had chicken pox... TT_____TT i suffered so much. The headaches and fever and the itchiness. urgh. so glad it's all over and wont have to go through it again. and i nearly thought i was going to have to skip Beautiful Show because of it. LOL
and Beautiful Show~~~ one of the best memories ever! Seeing Beast sing all my favourite songs live~~~ Seeing Junhyung SING LIVE!!! and Hyunseung's sexiness~ and Dongwoon singing OMGGGGG this can go on forever. ppl are saying Cube will have United Cube Concert in Msia next year... please dont come to Msia... pls dont. i dont have the money for it.

Went to Bali this year~ The only overseas trip for 2012. it was short and kinda boring but Bali is such a nice place~ I really want to go back there to fully enjoy all it has to offer!

And looking back at 2012, *laughs* how much money have i spent on Beast????
I definitely spent A LOT. starting the year with Welcome To Beast Airline Concert DVD. Then in March, BEAUTIFUL SHOW~~~ Oh my gosh, dont even dare to calculate how much money i spent on the ticket and merchandises. Then, Beast Meets B2uty photobook. In June, Beast's 5th Mini Album and their limited edition album. Then Beast's Beautiful Show Photobook. And Yoseob's album. and just a few days ago, once i got some cash during Christmas, I spent it on ordering Beast's Beautiful Show in Seoul concert dvd. I guess that's all... i dont think i missed out anything... okay... dont even dare to calculate. May 2013 be a prosperous year for me please~ I need money for Beast! and my Macau trip.... TT____TT
Besides money, i definitely spent a lot of my time on Beast too. I didnt really have an interesting life in 2012, but Beast was a big part of it. and always will be! really cannot imagine my life without them.
I know i've said it many times, but thinking back to all the good memories, i just have to say it again, Beast makes me genuinely happy. I know i'm a crazy fangirl but i cant help it.

Oh... and the hard times during the year was definitely exam periods and the period where i needed to apply for uni. phew... i cannot be any happier that i got over with it. The most stressful i've ever been was when i needed to write my personal statement. urgh. thinking back makes me feel sick. i wouldnt have been able to get through it without my uncle's and aunt's help though, so I really need to thank them. I'm a lucky girl.

This year, i was able to meet A Pink for the first time~ They need to have their comeback now!!! I need cute songs~~~ I miss them soo much! Also, this year, i got my first smartphone~ although i dont treat my phone as importantly as some others, but i'm still very thankful for it~
And I finally made my fangirl twitter acc this year! I've always wanted to make one but just kept enduring with my personal one until one day, i just couldnt stand it anymore.
I havent been back reading my personal acc ever since i came back to JB... I only go through a few accounts. Spending all my time on my fangirl acc~ it's my happy place. :)
And lastly, Awaken. I think it's one of the best moments of my life. hands down the best.

All the precious memories... all the happy times and sad times, has all passed. It's time for a new year!
I really hope it can be a better year, but what's the definition of "better"?
Will be ending the year tmr with all the precious friends! Cant wait~

and i'm still craving more of Beast.... but the boys need rest.




P/S:
in the last blog post about Awaken i didnt get to mention this... it's just a thought i wanted to share.
about sharing. over the past few years, especially during camps, i've always hated sharing. I always thought that sharing was a way of telling ppl your problems and who you really are and by doing that, ppl would pity you and look at you differently because of what you shared about yourself, of who you really are.
but just a few days ago, before i wrote my blog post, coincidentally, i randomly clicked on one of missglamorazzi's vlogs called "Dear Youtube", which was a 2011 vlog and she shared some stuff about herself. and she mentioned that by sharing, it's a way to put yourself out there for ppl to see the real you. and in a way, it's showing that you're fine with who you are and you dont mind letting others know about it.
and yes, sure there's gonna be some annoying idiots out there who judges every word you say but there are also a lot of good ppl out there who are very understanding. but if you're happy and confident about yourself, you wont care. and i guess i'm still taking baby steps to being happy in my own skin, accepting myself for who i am. and i just want to mention that Ingrid (missglamorazzi) is very inspirational, i admire her. despite all she has went through, she can still be so positive about  everything and to be happy in her own skin, and most of all, being able to share all of that with the whole world. and which is always why i find Beast inspirational too (LOL always ending up with Beast).  especially Yoseob, he's just a ball of energy and laughter and smiles~ sure, he has his down times too but when you see him smile, it's a genuine smile that would affect those around him too.
 And Hyunah, I inspire Hyunah a lot. she's a girl that has went through so much too. She doesnt hide the fact that she cant sing. Instead she flaunts her confidence like nobody else does. I always love watching her fancams from her fansign events because she brings happiness to her fans. I really dunno how she does it. and i sometimes also watch some behind the scenes videos of Hyunah, and off-stage, she's a girl exploding with cuteness~ bringing happiness to those around her~
so sometimes, i know this is kinda off the subject but still, sometimes, i really do not understand those who are so negative about everything small problem they're going through in life when some ppl out there are going through so much more but can still bring others happiness. seriously, some ppl need to stop being so emo.

i'm still finding myself and deciding on who i want to be. it's so easy to get influenced by others, especially online. and society too. society decides on what is right and what is wrong and we easily get carried along. I want to have my own mind and stand up for what i believe in and basically, dare to be different.