A Turning Point In Life

I went for a church camp/ retreat called Awaken from December 13th to 16th and I wanted to blog about it right when i came back from camp because i had so much to share! but i was sick and just wasnt in the mood and now, i want to blog about it~ I'm actually not allowed to share much because this retreat is a special retreat where there's no itinerary, you arent suppose to know what happens in the retreat. but i think the possibility of anyone reading this blog post that are going for the retreat is really small so i'll share a bit~

Awaken was held in Singapore and I went for it with a few friends from JB. Oh and i came back to JB on the 12th. and my flight was delayed by an hour so by the time i reached home it was alr midnight and i think i only got 3 hours of sleep the night before Awaken. I was so reluctant to go for the retreat at first because i really wanted to just stay at home, plus i hate going for camps because i never fit in. but i was the one that decided to go at first, i guess deep down i knew i needed to go to this camp and there's a lot of good words going around about how good Awaken is. anyways, i managed to force myself there since we alr paid for it. 

I'm only gonna blog about the important stuff, the stuff that influenced me the most.

firstly, my group! the group i was in was called Goodness and i had a really great facilitator named Ethelyn.

she is really really pretty. sometimes i would just stare at her looking for any flaws on her face LOL *creeper* HAHAHA but she was really really nice. and this other girl named Tricia was really nice too~ all in all, my group members helped me a lot. we have group sharing a few times each day, including our meal time. i have a love-hate relationship with group sharing. i hate it when no one wants to share, and when everyone just keeps to themselves. the irony is that i'm the one that doesnt share or say anything during group sharing. the thing i love about group sharing is that once you dare to speak out and share your thoughts and problems, you'll feel a lot better. And the thing with Goodness was that at first, none of us wanted to share, and no one volunteered to say Grace either. We were so quiet and we just answered the questions our facilitators asked us. but then during day two, our facilitators decided to split us into two groups during group sharing. Girls one group, guys one group. And we girls started to open up more with each other and it felt really good talking about our problems and listening to others'. We were silently helping out each other. there was once where i was talking to Tricia and i was wondering about how they allocated us into groups because my friend, Shirlyn's group was really active. and mine was really... in-active. We were a really shy and quiet group. Then Tricia said, "Maybe because we are all really hurt inside." 

so in my opinion, group sharing really helped a lot. I had really amazing group members that was understanding and never judged. Step by step throughout the retreat, we were healing tgt. and  by the time it was day 4, we had no problem opening up and sharing our thoughts with each other. :)

Our main speaker was Father William Goh and throughout the camp, he gave 17 talks! He was really good and really cute too~ he had this really cute, kind and peaceful smile. I like looking at him when he smiles~ LOL *creeper again* He said that we need to open our hearts, surrender yourself to God. he mentioned some ppl will have a harder time to surrender because there's something in your heart you cant get over with... and that's why we had inner healing sessions. and many talks on sins, to prepare us for our death bed confession. You cannot imagine how much better i felt about myself after confession and all the inner healing sessions. i was so cheerful and i bet if they played Beast songs at the camp, i would be jumping and running around the room~~~ LOL 

Day 1 and Day 2 had more talks. We basically had to sit in the room the whole day until my butt felt sore. and we had to kneel a lot too during those 4 days, which was really torturing. By the end of camp, my knees were all red and kinda blue-blacked. And i cried so much during all the inner healing sessions and sometimes during Father's talks when he touched on some sensitive subjects. I dont even rmb the last time i've cried so much. But it felt really good letting all the tears out. Ethelyn also told us that there's nothing wrong with crying, it's good to cry. She herself cried a lot. everytime a talk or session ended, you'd see a pile of tissues in front of her. 

Day 3 was one of the longest days in my life. I'm not lying. I felt soooo long. It started off with us getting ready for our confession. We had the 'carrying-of-the-cross' before confession. that was tiring. never knew the cross would be so damn heavy. my knees were alr so pain from kneeling that morning. I nearly fell while carrying the cross, my knees were feeling all jelly-like. Then it was time for confession. 

after confession, we had more praise and worship. Then it was time for the 'washing of the feet'. basically it was a way for you to forgive someone or even yourself. You'll find a proxy to be that 'someone' and you'll wash their feet, in a way, you're forgiving. I cried so so much during that session. i just couldnt stop. I stopped when i had to go find my proxy. I chose Ethelyn to be my proxy because i knew she'd be very understanding and she's very supportive. Then i cried more when i was washing her feet and when she comforted me, i cried even more. but i really need to thank her for all she had done. what she did that day really helped me a lot. during Day 2's group sharing, we still couldnt open up, ans she kept asking us, what is the thing that is stopping you from opening up? i was confused. i was  like, how would i know what that 'thing' is? then i mentioned that i had a hard time forgiving ppl. she didnt mention anything right then but the next day we had the washing-of-the-feet and my questions were all answered. After the washing-of-the-feet, i sat down and continued crying and when i stopped, Tricia gave me a big hug. And that hug felt like the nicest hug in the whole wide world. I really needed it. so i have to thank Tricia too. Tricia was crying really hard beside me too. We both needed a hug. :)

We fasted during Day 3, so maybe that's what made the day feel so long. After dinner, we had our inner healing session. i finally opened up that night and surrendered myself to God and i felt his presence that night, the presence of the Holy Spirit. when Father was blessing over me, he said, "Jesus loves you, forgive-" then i fell to ground. Some of you may never have experienced it before, but that's what most ppl do when the Holy Spirit takes over. I didnt really faint or "rest in the spirit" like most other ppl though, i just fell. some ppl laughed or cried, it was kinda scary. but i cried a lot again during that session. i didnt think i would cry because i thought i alr cried so much in the afternoon, i had no more tears but still, Father's words touched me so much. At first i was crying very hard but after a while, tears just kept rolling down my cheeks non-stop. so, Day 3 was really tiring, i think it was the crying that made me so tired. but that night, i still stayed up till 2am chatting with Shirlyn. hehe some more she planned to wake up at 5.30am to go to the Adoration room to pray with her group members. In the end, we both woke at 6.45am. LOL I was suppose to meet my group members to go to the Adoration room too but someone was late so didnt manage to go. LOL

We had another inner healing session during Day 4. I didnt cry much that day though. but i was the second-last to get bless by Father so i saw everything that happened in front of me because i was standing at the last row. it was scary seeing some ppl cry non-stop throughout the session. After that, during our remaining praise and worship sessions, our group members finally opened up and actually started having fun during praise and worship~ That evening, all the parents came and we had mass and some ppl went to give testimonies. And like that, Awaken ended!

After Awaken, we (JB gang) all went to Shirlyn's house with our family to have a sharing session. I guess all our parents were curious about what we learnt from Awaken. I was reluctant to go at first because i was drop dead tired and i missed my laptop a lot and Beast too~ and also i didnt really want to share... but in the end, i changed my mind. i told myseld that sharing is a good thing and i should learn to trust others. We had a huge feast of 6 pizzas at Shirlyn's. and our sharing session went well. It was scary for me, because when you're sharing, everyone's focus in on you and I didnt know where to look at, everywhere i looked, there was someone staring back at me. when i mentioned how my group had a hard time opening up, Aunty Pat also mentioned that those who are hurt always have the hardest time opening up to others. but i rmb Ethelyn said at Awaken that although we are hurt but once you forgive and once you are healed, it'll be easier to open up. and i guess that was my case. :)

I guess this post ended up quite long. hehe. I had a great time at Awaken. Although it was tiring, and i was always falling asleep during the morning sessions. I'm really not a morning person. Like, even during Divine Mercy while we were kneeling, i was falling asleep despite the pain. LOL but Awaken was a turning point in my life. I learnt so much and felt some emotions i never felt before. At Awaken, they make you rmb all the hurt, all the pain you've gone through, even those memories you've chose to forget, that's why i cried so much.
I'm a Catholic but i grew up without a strong faith. As i grew up, i got to choose how i want to live my life, a part of me wanted to exclude God because he was never important in my life before Awaken, but now, i want a life with God in it. I've always thought that religion wasnt important in life, but i guess as we grow older and especially when we get to a stage of life where we feel really hopeless, i guess that's the time where you turn to God. I havent reached that stage of life yet, but i hope that with God in my life, i wont ever need to feel that way. I wish everyone can have a chance to attend Awaken, it will really change your life in one way or another.

 Red velvet cupcakes we had at Awaken! i wish i had a group photo of Goodness to upload but i dont have any.... 

 our unique name tag! it's a mitten~

 our 2012 Awaken t-shirt~

the back of the tee!

 Awaken after-party at Shirlyn's place~

 this was definitely when we were saying Grace. coz the food havent been touched yet. hehe

i'm not in the photo but Dominic is~ havent seen him in so long and he grew taller AGAIN! he's so tall and skinnier too! oh, he's the one is grey/white.

 our sharing session!

lastly, a group shot of the JB gang! clockwise: me, Isaac, Shirlyn, Norman, Randall, Christy and Daniel.

had a good time with them too~ they are all younger than me btw. 

Yong Junhyung's 24th Bday~

boring title. LOL My brain cant function in the morning. although it's not morning now, but i just woke up.
and i'm late to post this again. my excuses: busy, sick. And now i have to rush because at 1pm, i'll have to go to Kluang with my mum to send my aunt there. need to pray hard, make sure it'll be a pleasant trip.
so this would be short. also because i just reformatted my laptop and i dont have much of Junhyung's photos in my files. which is also a good thing. hehe

 HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY JOKER-NIM~~~

he is just so cute sometimes~

 everyone thinks Junhyung is cool, charismatic and serious all the time, but when he's in the mood and he smiles, he's the cutest~

 aegyo??? kekekeke

 i love this hairstyle of his~

 :3 and he's so fair oh my gosh. 

 cutie being sleepy.

 okay, this may be my favourite hairstyle of his!

 this was for Yoseob's Caffeine MV!

 oooh sexy Junhyung~ he kills me every single time.

 contrast between him and the cute bear on the cupcake.

and his lilac hair which i miss. i dont think we'll ever be able to see it again.

 always the fashionable member. but those set of sweats needs to be destroyed!

 looks so cute with his eyes missing. kekeke

 and this must be one of my favourite styles of him.

perfect hair and leather jacket.

 and this is Beast's Bad Girl era~ he looks so youthful.

 Junhyung and his many different amazing hairstyles~

i loved this one too~

 cute pout! and eye-liner. i really think he looks a lot better with eye-liner, at least it suits his style.

but he also looks good without it, it makes him look a lot more youthful.

forever being the gentleman and covering his mouth when he laughs. like a girl. kekekeke

 Junhyung's selcas~~~~ such a cutie!!!

credit to BEST OF BEAST.

look how amazing it is!!! they compiled so many of his photos tgt. i cant post it in it's ori size because it's way too big.

so.... it's almost the end of the year now, and this year really has been amazing for Beast and for Junhyung. 

with Yoseob's Caffeine closing up the year with a really fantastic album.

Junhyung has worked really hard. and gone through so much at the same.

I really cant wait to hear more of his productions. like Yoseob said, he's gonna shine as a really amazing producer and composer. 

I hope you never change, Junhyung-ah. stay cheerful and youthful forever. and stay with Hara forever~ kekeke

The Unluckiest Day Ever

I guess i can say that the 7th Of December was the unluckiest day for me (and Yongxuan).
At the end of our day, Yongxuan said, we can totally write an essay on "最倒霉的一天".
And so, i'm kinda writing it now. hahaha i was kinda reluctant to blog about it because just thinking about that day makes me kinda pissed. but it'll be fun to look back to this day in the future.

I think the first unlucky (why does this word look so weird...) incident was when we called for a taxi. After we called, we waited for almost half an hour and the taxi company didnt call back. So we walked to Asia Cafe and got a taxi. And as usual, we got over-charged a lot by that stupid taxi driver and had to endure the journey in his almost-broken-taxi. urgh And LOL, the taxi company called back to said there was no taxi in our area while we were in the taxi. Malaysia's taxis suck ttm. I hope all those greedy, impolite taxi drivers all go to hell. Just imagine how many people's day were ruined by them.
We went to Sungei Wang Plaza first as i had to get a refund for my 2NE1 ticket. When we reached the shop, we went to check out the kpop albums first and I dropped some of the albums (multiple times) and a staff was standing right beside us. And Yongxuan actually had to tell the staff (because he asked) that she could get the same album at a much more cheaper price online. HAHAHAHAHA
but seriously, a Beast album for RM70?! nuh-uh.
When i showed the staff my ticket, he said i couldnt get a refund there because i didnt buy it from them (ticketpro), mine was from Redtix. BUT they didnt state this point on their fb page! So i didnt get a refund there, wasted our time going there!
Then we went to H&M and all the tops i liked didnt have my size. boohoo. but i still managed to get a black cardigan and some cheap earrings which i reckon wont last me long.
Then we went over to Pavillion and i bought two tops from Padini and one of them isnt my size and i have a feeling i'm gonna regret buying it. :(
then we continued walking and by then my feet were alr hurting, but we still continued window shopping~
i loved our stop at Victoria's Secret~ trying out all the perfumes~ and there's just so much pink stuff in store, i want them all~~~~ we both smelled so nice when we left the shop~
then we continued window shopping and i ended up buying a new nail polish because i couldnt stand not having a new colour for so long.
The one i wanted from Beauty Credit is still out of stock. TT____TT please let there be stock when i come back next year!!!
At around 5 something, we decided leave but it was raining outside so we walked tgt using one umbrella, so we still got drenched from the rain.
while walking to the take the monorail, we stopped halfway outside H&M because the rain became way too heavy.
we waited for almost 15 to 20 minutes there i think and in the end, although the rain was still heavy, we decided to run to the monorail station.
and when we had to cross the road, the road was filled with mucky, dirty water and urgh, it was disgusting. we were screaming all the way when we crossed the road.
after that, we got caught in the rain again when we needed to walk over to KL Sentral.
Reached KL Sentral and wanted to quickly get back to subang so decided to take a taxi, but... there was a long line of people waiting for taxis so we changed plans and took KTM.
and when i wanted to buy my ticket from one of those machines, i didnt notice it only took coins. and the stupid didnt accept 10sens and i was WTH.
so wasted about 5 minutes there which caused us to miss the train. we were rushing down the stairs as it left the station. urgh.
we had to stand there and wait for another 15 to 20 minutes for the next train and when the train came, we stood again for another 20 minutes before reaching subang. my legs were suffering by then....
when we reached the subang station, there was no taxis outside the station. fml
and since we were there, i decided to go over to Subang Parade to get my refund for my 2ne1 ticket. so had to walk some more.... it was torture. but at least i got to get my refund.
then.... more unlucky stuff. we walked to the bus stop to get a taxi but couldnt.... when we finally got a taxi and we were alr inside it, the driver suddenly got out of the taxi and checked his tyre. and Yongxuan was like, dont tell me there's something wrong with his tyre. and guess what? he had a flat tyre.
he told us to get down and apologized and we were like, whatever.... ugh.
so we waited for another taxi and when we got into one, the driver was so rude. and charged us so much some more. urgh. seriously dont want to even think about it.
at one point of our day, i mentioned the last time we went out tgt, and Yongxuan had to accompany me to go get my albums and that day was a really unlucky day too and not as bad as this day though.
and so we came up with the conclusion that we cannot go out with each other anymore, we always meet with unlucky stuff when we're tgt.
but then i said that maybe it's just our luck in 2012 is really bad or something and let's just hope 2013 will treat us better. LOL

so... that's it for the unluckiest day in my life. not very interesting, i know. i didnt have fun blogging either.
on the brighter note, i'll be going home tmr~~~~ pray for my safety! LOL, my uncle and mum keep reminding me to be safe on my way back and they are freaking me out.
and i'll be able to go home and decorate the house for christmas tmr night!!!

but on thursday, i'll be leaving for SG for a church camp which i'm so reluctant on going. haih what the hell was i thinking when i signed up for it?! i have always hated camps. i dunno how i am going get through 4 days without my laptop..... TT____TT and i'll be sending my laptop to be reformatted while i'm away and now i'm backing up all my files which are 50GB big and it's gonna take 3 hours... zzzzz
i need to sleep now. still have class tmr. fml.



P/S: I really need to be in the mood when it comes to blogging. this tab has been kept opened from 11am until now. LOL

The First Collage

I'm here to blog about Yoseobie~~~ Like always, here are my thoughts about Yoseob's solo debut! I dont know who will want to read through this long wordy post but i just have to do it~~~
I pre-ordered my album but havent got it yet. I'm alr seeing other overseas fans getting theirs....
But i guess it'll be in my room when i go back to JB, which i cant wait for!!!

So... Yang Yoseob's first solo album The First Collage... is amazing. I knew Yoseob and Junhyung wouldnt disappoint us~ If you havent listened to it yet, you're missing out on some really good music.
I cant really choose my favourite song (but when have i ever been able to when it's a Beast album?!). All the songs are unique and really really good.
But i feel that i like Look At Me Now, Caffeine, and You Don't Know more. and these three songs are composed and written by Junhyung and Kim Taejoo. the other two are by other ppl but the album is fully produced and arranged by Junhyung. I'm not biased but these three songs are really the style of songs that i loveeee~
And if you listen to the album, you MUST listen to the songs accordingly! From Look At Me Now onwards! You'll know why when you listen to it that way.
I first listened to it in the college library. hehehe The first song on the album, Look At Me Now. If you follow me on twitter, you'll alr know that i love this song a lot. I smiled when the intro started playing~ It's such a happy and fun song and plus it's Yoseob's voice~ and it's really catchy! it just suits Yoseob perfectly. basically, it just makes me really happy when i listen to it. It has helped me stay sane while doing my horrifying Maths homework throughout the week. Look At Me Now was supposed to be the title song!!! everything would be so different if it were to be the title song.

Next song, Caffeine. At the first listen of Caffeine, i didnt really love it. It sounded too depressing, but that just shows how much emotion Yoseob puts into a song. And i guess i wasnt really listening closely to the song (as i was in the library, didnt really feel very comfortable LOL). But now, I LOVE CAFFEINE SOOOO MUCH~
maybe also because after the release of the MV and Yoseob's flawless live performances, i really am addicted to Caffeine, and basically the whole album. I cant stop singing Caffeine now. You're so bad to me, so bad to me, girl you like caffeine~
And the choreography of the song i cant even~ The dance practice vid just came out just now! Prepix's Haw did a great job as always. Yoseob looks so cool dancing. Yoseob just became my favourite dancer in Beast! he has always been actually.... i've just never said it out. I kept saying it was Hyunseung... dont ask me why... But i also really love Junhyung as a dancer too... aish... why are they all so good???!!!

The MV of Caffeine~ The kiss scene made me go a lil bit cray. hehe. I cant imagine how the Seob stans went through it. But the whole set of the MV is so pretty with all the effects and floating stuff and Yoseob's slick dance moves. LOL and Junhyung's appearance as the bad guy! everyone could recognize his lips before his face appeared HAHAHAHA. and everyone HATES Yoseob's pearl suit in the MV. HAHAHAHAHAHA~~~ it really looks weird. someone tweeted that it made him look like a gingerbread man and the pearls were the icing. LOL and the heart scene at the end was totally creepy and funny. LOL


so here's the dance practice vid! The Prepix dancers are really good (duh... they are pros). Beast is really lucky to have such awesome dancers are their back-up dancers, i dont think they should be called "back-up dancers", they are too good to be. They make Yoseob's stage look so cool and complete.


Next song, Just Do Like You Always Did (the korean name sounds better 하던 대로 해)
I also love this song a lot. I couldnt stop singing the part Annyeong~ Annyeong~ for a few days LOL
I love the intro of the song (i always love a song with a nice intro) and the ending of the song with the sound effects. the intro made it sound a bit like a christmas song and gave a winter feeling to it.

Next, Still I/Even I. (the english trans doesnt do justice, the korean names sounds so much better 그래도 나는) I wasnt really attracted to this song at first, but after a few listens, it got stuck in my head. it has a jazzy feeling to it and after Yoseob performed a short ver of it on his debut stage, i started loving it even more. It really suits Yoseob so much. he voice is just so smooth and soothing and perfect for songs like this.

And lastly~~~ You Dont Know (LOL the korean name sounds better 그대는 모르죠)
This also became one of my favourites from the very first time i listened to it. Another fun, cute and happy song. That's why you need to listen to the songs accordingly. The album starts with a happy song and ends with one too. And three sad, slower songs in the middle. And once again, the intro of the song is the BEST~~~  it is definitely one of my favourite intros~~~~~ (next to Beast's You where it starts with Dongwoon's voice hehehehe) Yoseob starts the song right from the first second with his oh-so-sweet-as-honey voice and it just melts me entirely~ >_< And he sang it live during today's fanmeet and i was definitely the happiest girl alive at the moment. *O*
and this song is a song where you have to listen very closely to because there's a lot of hidden melodies in the background which are really beautiful and makes the song so good.



I'm so very proud of Junhyung for producing such an amazing album which is getting infinite praises from everyone that has listened to it. whenever i see someone (especially someone who isnt a B2uty) spreading their love for Yoseob's to other and giving compliments, I just get really happy and really proud.
I wonder how much Junhyung earned with this album... hmmmm.... hahahaha Caffeine is alr a hit!
Now we're just waiting and praying hard that maybe Yoseob can get first on Mcountdown next week~
it's hard to get number 1 on Music Bank coz of Psy... I dont even want to mention the song title, i've gotten so sick of it. (not because it doesnt move from the number spot but because it's just annoying)
Anyways, Yoseob's album sales has been doing really well so let's keep our fingers crossed! Yoseob mentioned today that he'll do the famous "귀요미~" from 1 to 10 if he gets number 1~~~~
in case you dont know about 귀요미, BTOB's cutie Ilhoon (my bias hehe), started this trend. and in Korea, everyone is loving it. hahaha



With this amazing album, ppl would have higher expectation from Beast, but i am confident that they'll keep improving and showing us a different side of themselves the next time they release an album. I dont think it'll happen soon though.
but... I really miss Beast. For now, let's support our precious Yoseobie because he deserves all the love~~~
our poor boy has his schedules fully packed until christmas i think. then it'll be the Gayo Daejeon's of the year~~~

okay time for bed. rmb, go listen to The First Collage!
Good night and sweet dreams!
ugh class tmr.... luckily first period is at 10am! bbyong~

First Solo Album

This is gonna be a post full of words and it's all gonna be about Beast so... you can skip and not read it if you're not interested. I'm writing this post because i can't contain all the excitement and worries I'm having due to Yoseob's solo. I spam my fangirl twitter acc but it just doesnt seem enough, and i'm reluctant to tweet much on my personal twitter so here i am. I just have to get my feels all out or else i wont be able to sleep at night. I desperately need a B2uty friend that i can spam and spazz with. Someone willing to volunteer? kekeke

On 26th of November, Yang Yoseob will be releasing his own first solo album.
It's also gonna be the first solo album from Beast. And obviously it would be Yoseob to be the first to have a solo right? The boy with the golden vocals.
It's also gonna be the first album where it is entirely produced by Junhyung. And this is very important to Junhyung and Beast.
Junhyung has always said he wanted to produce a whole album for Beast. and this time, although not for Beast but still it means a lot.
Even Cube's CEO tweeted and said he trusts Junhyung as a producer. I rmb watching an old video of Beast and Junhyung said that at first the CEO was giving his a hard time because his songs werent good enough and so now to have the CEO approve of his abilities, i cant help but be so proud. He's been working so hard until he just wont stop tweeting. hehehe
Junhyung totally stopped tweeting for like 6 months this year and suddenly, this month, he started tweeting again and he tweeted so much and most of them were teasers of Yoseob's solo.
And some are guessing that Yoseob leaving Twitter was because of his solo, that he wanted to focus or also maybe because Yoseob was scared he himself wouldnt be able to keep this huge secret from us if he was on twitter. LOL
But Yoseob himself was the first one to give us a teaser on his solo, it was just that we never thought it was one. i really wished he was still on twitter. i miss our precious baby oppa. i miss beast.

I'm really excited for Yoseob's solo. Really really really excited. I smile everytime i think of it.
It's just gonna be so amazing! With Junhyung's style in all the songs and Yoseob's vocals~~~~
and you all know Yoseob's voice is my favourite! And Yoseob dancing! and Yoseob's photos in the photobook and a huge poster of YOSEOB! hehehehe CANT WAIT~~~~ I wonder what colour the album would be.....
and Junhyung writing all the lyrics~~~~ Junhyung's lyrics are the best. And we all know Junhyung would produce an album that suits Yoseob's style.
Yoseob personally praised Junhyung and said that Junhyung would really make it big as a producer, and that a song he produced is gonna be a huge hit. And i'm guessing it's definitely gonna be on his album.
I'm really curious of the concept of Yoseob's title song "Caffeine". I know it's gonna be a dance song coz Prepix already choreographed the dance but i'm really curious about the concept.
Yoseob loves the rock genre so I'm really hoping to see a rock song on the album and please let there be more than one ballad~~~~ I want Yoseob to sing me to sleep~~~
everyone was joking and saying the whole album would be full of aegyo. HAHAHA. as if Junhyung would write any cute, full of aegyo songs. LOL

At the same time, I'm really worried too. Yoseob has always been very hard on himself for every one of Beast's performance and I really hope he'll be able to do fine on his own, although i know the members will still always be by his side.
And a few weeks ago, Yoseob left a very emotional/sad post on one of his personal fancafes but i didnt get to read it. But according to fans, he was kinda sad i guess. I think he was just giving himself too much stress due to this album. And Yoseob always shows it when he's hurt, and that make fans worry even more.
I also worry for Junhyung too. This album would finally give him a chance to show the world his talent as a producer but... i still worry... a lot. Like, what if, it doesnt turn out as good...? and everyone would be criticizing him. Even now and before, he has always received criticism and hate, for how he's just copying other idols in becoming a producer and all other bullshit. He deserves to shine. All members of Beast deserves to shine brighter than anyone else. Excuse me for being an elite fan but they obviously went through more and worked so much harder than others.

But a part of me knows that Beast never disappoints us and this is gonna be awesome. Everyone already loves Yoseob so what is more to say. How can anyone hate him though. He's the most precious human being. hehehe
Just a few more days... then everything would be revealed. I cant wait for the music video too. Sigh, Yoseob must be so tired doing everything without the members. But i bet Junhyung will always be by his side.
And as we know Cube's style, everyday till D-Day, they'll keep releasing teasers so i'll wake up early for the next few days! which is why i should go to sleep now.... just look at the time. ugh.


plus, i feel like buying more than one album... just for Yoseob, because he's so precious. But i'm broke so... haih, i shouldnt even be thinking about it.

good night.

YANG YOSEOB HWAITING!!! 

So... Recently...

I'm finally done with AS!!! woohoo~ but jsyk, i'm extremely worried of my results. I dont think i did any good and this is the time where i regret for not working hard enough. This is totally not me. I usually just let things go easily but not with my AS exams..... i have no idea how i'm going to face A2... kill me please.
So i'm just relaxing and trying to enjoy while i can before class resumes again.
I should've gone home... haih but we still have one week before class resumes so whatever. haih.

so for the past few days i've basically done nothing. LOL
I've watched a few nice movies though. I watched Ted, which was bad. It was so lame. but i still sat through the whole movie though. and this proves how important a movie's trailer is.
But after that I watched One Day, starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess (who is really good looking).
One Day was a really nice movie. Those interested in it, it can be found on PPS. Anne Hathaway's and Jim's acting was amazing. Was not used to Anne Hathaway's British accent at first though. It had a sad ending though. I hate sad endings but it was okay, they ended the movie perfectly.
I also watched a chinese movie called Love. I watched it because i knew Eddie Peng was in it. hehehe. It was interesting too. I havent watched a chinese film in a very very long time. I dont even rmb when was the last time i watched a taiwanese drama.
The next movie i watched was a christmas movie. haha. I know it's not even December yet but i cant wait to spend christmas with my family and friends~ and most Christmas movie cant go wrong. I watched The Family Man, starring Nicholas Cage. It was a random choice of movies. I think i've seen it on tv before but i just watched it again.
just now i watched Fairy Tale: A True Story. but i didnt finish it because it was too boring. I seriously just watch any random movie i find online without knowing anything about the movie. It's more interesting that way. I still have a lot of movies in my bookmarks bar waiting for me.

I've been listening to a lot of Urban Zakapa's songs this week. The holiday just puts me into the mood for relaxing, soothing music. I changed my bg music too. It's an Urban Zakapa song named Cafe Latte. I love it soooo much. I dont know how i never got attracted to Urban Zakapa. I've heard their songs before but never cared to checked them out. Stupid past Rachel missed out on so much good music.
Anyways, go check their music out if you're like me and love relaxing, soothing music. If you like 10cm and J.Rabbit or most korean indie artists, i'm sure you'll like them too.

I've been staying on Youtube a lot too. I watched a lot of vlogs. I'm currently going through all WongFu Production's videos, starting from the oldest videos. They are basically three goofy guys who do what they love and work hard on it. Their videos/vlogs are just so enjoyable to watch. And just seeing how they grew throughout the years. and just seeing technology improving over the years too. I watched one of their vlogs where they were on tour and they went to Seattle! and visited University of Washington. I've been there and when they entered the library, they said the same thing i did when i was there. The library was like how the Harry Potter buildings are! LOL and they went sight seeing around Seattle too, too all the places i've been and it just made me want to go visit Seattle again, it's just such a beautiful city.

And some of you may have already heard that YG cancelled 2NE1's New Evolution Concert in Malaysia.
tbh, i was pissed. but only for 10 minutes before i cheered myself up with Beast. No point being mad while there's nothing i can do to change the situation and it's not like i'm the only one going through this. Like i stated above, i normally get over stuff really fast.
but seriously, i gave up my Alive Tour ticket to buy 2NE1's ticket. and now i end up not being able to go for both. But i guess i'm happy that i'll be getting my money back and i'll be able to do some Christmas shopping for myself and maybe buy some Christmas presents for the family.

just some random photos like usual.....

 Pop Tarts~ I've seen my cousin sister eat this while i was in Seattle and they seemed really delicious and so i bought them to try but they are not cheap. and they are really sweet. I'm craving them again but i'm broke.

 the size of it compared with my hand!

 the weather has been rainy everyday for the past two weeks, or even longer than that. but the rain has stopped these few days. I thought the rainy season was during Dec? I guess i'm just used to JB weather.

 LOL this is my screen saver. I have a whole folder of Yoseob's photo as my screen savers. they accompanie me while i study. LOL

 hot pink nails. i was so excited to have hot pink nails for 2ne1's concert..... TT____TT

 ever since i got my S3, i've never bought any phone cases. except for a transparent case.

so i was really happy to get these and they were cheap too!

 banana chocolate chip muffin~ I wanted it once i set my eyes on it. Love at first sight. LOL.

 our group skype chat last saturday~ it was fun.

and LOL guess what this is??? It's actually a hand cream! Yongxuan bought it for me as a belated bday present and the scent of it is amazing~~~ I loveee it. It's a really sweet floral scent and I love sniffing on it before i sleep. I feel like i dream sweeter dreams because of it. LOL i know, doesnt make sense.

anyhow, thank you Yongxuan for it~~~ and as you can see, it's pink and so cute, how can i not love it. too bad the cream isnt pink in colour. I feel like i'll be repurchasing this after i finish this tub.

another long wordy post.

i guess i may be blogging more since i have some time on my hand. i hope i'll be. : )

good night everyone. sweet dreams~ 

i still cant change my habit of sleeping at 2am. it's 2.30am now. sigh. 

Boys To Men

I've been wanting to blog but i just wasnt in the mood. but... when i saw these photos of Beast this afternoon, i just felt like uploading them to my blog. 
I saw these photos 5 hours after they were released and everyone on my fangirl twitter acc had alr finished spazzing about them before i had the chance to.
But luckily i always back-read from the oldest tweets to the newest, or else it would've spoiled the surprise. 

i dunno why i even care to take some time out to share my feelings about seeing these photos... i guess i really miss blogging about these boys. Or should i say, "Men". 
These photos were for a magazine (1st Look)'s interview and the title of the interview was "Boys To Men". In the interview, I could clearly see how much our boys have grown into responsible men.
I loved how the interview was focused on their future. It makes me look forward to everything they're working hard on. And it also means that Beast will be around for a very long time, which is what we all want.

When i saw the first group photo, it took my breath away. my first reaction was, Oh shit. 
because i knew there was more that i havent seen yet. And i literally had to mentally and physically prepare myself before clicking on any other links to the photos.
I seriously forgot to breathe when i saw the other photos like i always do.
And i must say, i LOVE how they paired up the members~~~ #kiseob #junseung !!!! #doowoon
my six handsome men. ugh that sounds so weird.
I want them to stay playful boys forever and i know they would.

in summary, this photoshoot made all B2UTYs go crazy. I really want to show you guys how crazy the tweets were but i'm lazy to scroll down to those tweets and screencap it.
and i bet all B2utys' wallpapers are these photos now. hehe. me included. >_<

 this reminded me of when I used to watch America's Next Top Model and they always had challenges that was to work in groups and the judges would always comment on how one model steals the others' spotlight but for Beast, each members shines equally brightly. and as you can see, they must be modelling for those watches. I love them with nice watches. just saying.

and i just have to mention, DOOJOON'S CHEEKBONES.

and i just love the colour theme of this photoshoot. looks very men-ish. i guess because of the blue.

 our cute Yoseobie can look manly when he needs to. his arms are so fair omg.

and KIKWANG'S HAIR~~~~ I love this hairstyle of his soooo much~

and i always love his eyelids hehehe it's so weird-looking but he still manages to look so good.

 when i saw this, i wanted to scream like mad. i wanted to punch my screen. damn it junhyung.

sobs my OTP. i'm so sad this pair has gone MIA for some time. 

but.... Junhyung in jeans.... TT____TT and he rarely wears dress shirts. he looks so good. and the watch he has on just enhances everything. 

sorry hyunseung... but junhyung just stands out more in this photo. his eyes just look so intense.

 this killed me even more. ugh. how are they so good looking??!!! STOP GETTING SO HANDSOME, my fragile heart cant take it anymore. 

if you noticed from my past blogposts, i'm so attracted to Doojoon lately. and this just shows why.

and ugh dongwoon. always being the most handsome human being in my life. what more is there to say.

 i cant get over how perfect his hair colour is. it suits him so well and this navy dress shirt goes perfectly with his skin tone and his hair colour. and you cant see his weird-looking eyelids hahahaha

 the way he looks into the camera. stop it junhyung.

I really cant wait to see Doojoon in Iris 2~ Doojoon with a sniper! and fighting! and in a suit!!! and in a love triangle with the main roles~~~ so exciting!

and all the photos from Iris 2's press conference of Doojoon was just perfect. but he looks really tired. beast never had anytime to rest... poor boys.

That's all i guess. I just wanted some of Beast's perfection on my blog. And i really miss Beast so much.

I dunno why. I dont think i've ever missed them so much. Although i really want to hear some new songs from them soon but these boys havent gotten any rest since Beautiful Night's promotions. 
I just want to see their genuine smiles. but from this interview, i'm happy to see that they're working hard on finding themselves and working hard to build a good future for themselves. Kikwang stated that Beast members are selfish when it comes to work. I guess because they always want to be at their best. Every member has their unique charms and personality. Kikwang and Junhyung working on their composing, Doojoon on the drama, Dongwoon on his new musical. Yoseob and Hyunseung didnt specifically say what they're focusing on at the moment but i believe they're always practicing. I really cant wait to see what Beast has to show us in the future.





and hahahaha~ I just had to share this. this is one of @woontina 's tweet. I love her tweets. : )

WHAT IS B2ST? IS IT SOMETHING THAT RAMPAGES THROUGH YOUR HEART AND DESTROYS EVERYTHING AND TAKES YOUR SOUL AWAY? #soundsaboutright

Being a B2UTY is hard. kekekeke but i love this fandom with all my heart.