I'm Back

i feel like i havent been to my blog for ages.
but it's seriously not that long since my last post, but i've been so busy with other stuff that i totally ignored my blog.
so i'm here to talk about my camp last friday.
too bad i didnt manage to take many photos, coz i didnt have my phone with me most of the time.
i reached camp at 5.15pm, Nigel only dropped me off and left.
so i registered myself and went up to the girls' dorm to save a bed for myself and Amanda.
then i went back down to stand (alone *sobs*) near the registration to wait for Amanda to reach.
when waiting, i saw Ian and Joshua (my cousins). fyi, we're not in the talking state.
Ian changed since the last time i saw him, it's been so long since we last met.
he and his friend stared at me, and i think i heard his friend say that i've change and i look different.
it was kinda weird, so i quickly looked away.
and Josh havent changed at all, mayb more good looking and mature, but still short. :P he's almost the same height as me.
then finally Amanda reached, then we went walking around the place and did some catching up.
camp started at 6pm.
i feel so bad for not rmb-ing a lot of things that were said during the sessions,
i rmb the main important stuff, other than that, i only rmb Martin Jalleh 's(speaker) jokes and i rmb the games and laughing all the time.
then it was dinner! luckily the food wasnt that bad during camp, i was full all the time.
i sat with Amanda and a few other friends back from PAG camp.
then Martin Jalleh came and sat beside me coz there were empty seats.
it was kinda weird, coz he kept asking and talking to me but i didnt have anything to say, so i quickly finished up dinner and walked away.
then we had another session before we all went to bed.
then Saturday morning, we woke at 7am, then went down to the hall for some lame exercises.
then ate breakfast, we sat in groups starting then, i was in group 2 with Ian and a few more ppl.
then i faster went to bathe, luckily i was fast, or else sure wont manage to get into the bathroom.
then i was clean and fresh after a bath, then went down for the following session.
in the evening, we had games. our group was the 1st to finish going through all the stations, but it wasnt a competition.
the 1st station was to go through hoola hoops, i was the middle one that needed to go through 2 hoops at the same time, luckily i'm flexible and small sized.
then the next was to throw balloons backwards, it sounds easy, but it isnt that easy.
the next was to squeeze water from sponges into a water bottle, and the water bottle was set on one member's head.
then it was to pass ping pong balls using spoons in ur mouth.
the next game was to do crossword puzzles, and a word puzzle. i saw Josh there and he smiled at me.
i feel so sad at the fact that we dont talk much to each other anymore, i miss those days where we played tgt happily.
our group finished up pretty fast so we went to the next station where we needed to jump rope and say things at the same time.
the next was to do hand signs to another member to show a name of a movie.
mine was to show Prince Of Persia. ahahaha.
then the last station was to memorize pictures, it was a little bit hard coz they had a lot of similar pictures.
then we were supposed to go and bathe, but they only gave us like 30 minutes for 40 ppl to bathe.
there were like more than 6 bathrooms (i cant rmb how many in exact) in the girls dorm, and sure not enough time for all to bathe.
so i decided to bathe before going to sleep. while waiting, Amanda and i sat on the top bunk and talked again. it felt so nice to talk to an old friend.
she hasnt changed much at all, still the same, blur blur all the time.
then it was time for dinner! was hungry after the games. had to eat fast that night, coz we were running late.
then it was time for the climax of the whole camp, the inner healing session.
the purpose of it is to heal you from the inside, relief all ur hatred and hurt and pain that you've accumulated for so many years.
i apparently have accumulated a lot of hurt and pain, so i started crying during the 1st 5minutes or the 1st minute the session started.
it was so embarrassing coz at the time, i was the only one that started crying.
u r suppose to cry if u r hurt, some may feel different feelings.
and Martin Jalleh kept saying to let it all out, and it was hard holding my tears back.
fyi, alll the lights were off, so u cant see anyone crying, u can only hear.
i kept crying non-stop until one of the adults came over and prayed over me.
that person (a man)'s voice was so peaceful, i kinda thought it was God talking to me at 1st, scared the hell out of me.
he kept asking me to forgive the ppl that has hurt me in the past and just surrender all my pain to God.
then only i started to calm down.
and while i was crying through the session, 4 ppl came and gave me tissues.
and when ppl give u tissue, they usually pull 2 or 3 pieces of tissues out of the box,
so by the end of the session, i had like 10 tissues in my hand.
then after the session was confession.
i hate confessions, but had no choice, had to go.
the priest was so good, he didnt talk much, he just nodded and gave me my penance, then finish!
it was so fast, then i went back into the freezing hall and waited for the others to finish with their confession.
then some of us went for supper while some went to bathe.
i chose to bathe over supper.
then my eyes felt so tired from crying for so long.
then we went to write affirmation notes to others. i wrote a few only.
and i saw a few of my affirmation notes from others and it made me lol.
then we went to bed at 1am. i fell asleep while listening to G.Na's album.
woke up at 7am again. changed and went down for not yummy breakfast.
the next session was on boy girl relationship. it was super funny.
then after lunch it was the parents' session. my mum came with Thaniel.
while they were in the hall, we went to the canteen and talked while the others played truth or dare.
then it was time for us to go in the hall and sing 'You Raised Me Up' to the parents.
then we went to hug our parents.
i kept telling myself not to cry, i was alr tearing up, but i had to hold them back, coz i didnt want to cry in front of my mum. but i totally felt like crying ady...
then it was time for mass. then at 5.30pm, it was time for the fellowship.
i ate a lot, i was so hungry. and there were loads of yummy stuff to eat.
then at 6.30pm, went home.


i guess i'll stop here.
i spent too much time on my blog today. not enough time for tumblr ady.
bye~