unlucky me

a few ppl keep saying how lucky i am.
for having a great mum, and for having the freedom to do whatever i want.
i know i'm lucky in that way.
but no one knows how unlucky i am to be living this f-ing life.
living with a mum that works all day,
a mum that i only get to see for 1 hour a day.
living with two useless brothers that bully me since forever.
a brother that irritates me everyday,
and a brother that doesnt want to come home and see me although he has all the time in the world.
i'm only saying this coz i'm in a super bad mood.
my life is alr so f-ing bad, i'm trying my best everyday to make everyone's life good,
and my life too.
but it seems that all that hard work is wasted.
and some ppl in this world cant see that and they still want to make
my life harder and more miserable.
i want to watch Beast on tv tonight,
but the stupid tv in the living room got strike by lightning,
and the f-ing technicians havent come yet.
it's been one week alr for crying out loud!
i'm so damn pissed with the ppl here.
my mum alr called 3 or 4 technicians, and not even one has come.
it's like, fml!!!!!!!!!!
so i need to watch tv in my mum's room,
that means i cant squeal out loud!!!!!! but i guess my mum wont mind...
and i'm f-ing pissed that i cant find the stupid video i want!
what else am i pissed off about??? i think i'll just mention everything in one shot.
i'm pissed that nobody takes care of me.
i know i'm big enough to take care of myself but i'm so tired.
no one cooks for me, and three meals a day i have to cook for myself.
and i have to do every single thing myself.
when my mum sweeps the floor or mops the floor,
she doesnt even help me clean mine!
i used to be good and help out with everything,
but now... no. i need to be selfish sometimes, or else ppl will take advantage of me.
and last time, i rmb my primary school friends always used to take care of me.
they were all so much more mature than me,
so they always were there for me and took care of me.
last time i was never afraid to be alone, coz i was never alone.
nowadays, i'm more and more lonely. i feel like i'm always alone... *sobs*
i miss them so so much.... i used to be so happy with them.
now i'm all gloomy all the time although i dont show it much.
i dont like showing ppl how i feel when i'm down, or you can say that i like to keep my feelings to myself.
and the stupid internet isnt coorperating with me.
and B2strising keeps wanting me to sign in. although i just signed in minutes ago.
i'm so hungry right now and there's nothing yummy to eat.
and my skin condition recently is getting worse and worse.
and my confirmation camp is in less than one month.
wtf lar........... why must my life be like this.
and the other day when Nigel went to help me buy my facial cleanser in Sg,
the person said, the thing i want whole S'pore sold out ady...
i was like, WTH!!! i need it asap!! urgent!!!!!
and now i dunno where Nigel is, or i'm not sure where he is.
he has stopped telling me things ady.
and i dont tell him anything anymore. time changes everything.
and the f-ing cinema only shows 3D movies once a week. *urgh*
f those ppl who make my life miserable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate u guys..................... i cant wait for the time to go to sleep and wake up feeling all the same things again. *pissed*
and most importantly, FML.