today...

today is Good Friday~
(i shouldn't be happy now.for crying out loud! it's the day Jesus sacrificed himself for all of us.)
going to church for mass later on.
hope mass will finish early... i need to come back and sleep.
coz tmr need to go to school. i hate it.
1stly i need to wake up early.
2ndly, our classes tmr are the subjects i hate. all those boring subjects.
3rdly i'll be very tired, and i'm scared i cant stay up till late night.
and i'm just so damn nervous now. i'm doing the 2nd reading tmr.
tmr's mass is a big event mass, loads of ppl will be there, and loads of ppl that i know will be there.
it's better reading in front of ppl that u dunno.
i'm always scared that ppl will judge me...
after that time i did a mistake during the reading, it made me have a phobia of reading.
but reading in front of your class and reading in front of the whole church is so different.
your classmates all know you, and you know that they will forget about those embarassing moments, but you dunno whether those church ppl will forget things about you.
i just need to find a way to cool my self down now.
i need to relax and just be myself.
i know that i can do it, i've done it so many times.
and i know that i cant escape this phobis forever.
i know i can do it.... God bless me, pls...
omg.... i really need to cool down...
i cant imagine what will happen tmr....
i just need to be myself. that's all i need to do now.
hey... after saying that, i feel much more better now.
Wish me good luck everyone~ and keep your fingers cross for me~